Devry pays off!

Some years ago, I worked with a girl that did those "naughty lady" parties and she used to bring shit in to work all the time for people to have or try out or whatever. One time, she brought me a "Rabbit"....said I had to have it.

Don't act like you've never heard of the Rabbit....it's probably one of the most popular "toys" out on the market. And don't act like you bitches don't own anything like that, 'cause most women do. If you didn't buy it yourself, you've gotten one as a gift. lol

Anyway, I think I had this thing packed away somewhere that it was too cold or something, because the batteries got all corroded in it and the acid was turning to that sick white powder crap...like you find on your car battery posts. It killed the bunny. So, I didn't really think anything more of it.

So, I'm sitting at my computer tonight joking around with my brother on myspace when I hear this buzzing sound coming from my room. Uh....what the fuck?

"Rick.....what are you doing?"

"I'm fixing this vibrator."

LMAO....seriously? What the fuck is he doing??

So, I walk into my room to find him on the bed with vibrator parts all over the place! There's a pile of these pearly beads on my bed, followed by the "main piece"..I big pink penis with bunny ears protruding off of it... and he's got a mound of wires in his hands that he is twisting back together. Hysterical....I thought he was joking. Rick has a degree in electronics....who ever thought he'd be using it to build a vibrator!!

So, I said, "You better be careful because if you get shocked from those wires and die, I WILL tell the world that your demise was DEATH BY VIBRATOR!" lol

I left him alone...because I know he likes to tinker with electronics....apparently no matter what it is. lol And about 15 minutes later he walks out and says... "Man, building a vibrator is pretty easy."

But the kicker was the statement that followed.

"It's not done yet, but I'll have it finished by this weekend. It's just going to require I take out my soldering gun to fix some wires, then it will be good as new."

Seriously...he said this so matter of fact....like I was a customer at some weird little vibrator hospital where I took my broken vibrating penis to get worked on! Like he was assuring me he could fix the problem in a jiffy. lol I didn't even ask for this crap!

I wonder if he could add this to his resume?

Really? Is this for real??

I know I haven't written in awhile...but something caught my attention.

So, I'm sitting down watching a little t.v. the other day, and this "heart warming" commercial comes on....you know the type I'm talking about....they start out trying to connect with that inner American in you by talking about some person or event that is now being commemorated with a special edition coin or some shit. "Now YOU can own the special edition 9/11 commemorative coin with the Freedom Tower.." blah blah blah.

So, this commercial starts something like this:

"Change has come to America...Our time is now...yes we can."

Oh...ok...President Obama is on another commercial....what's this about?

"To commemorate our 44th president with an American icon, introducing..."

Yes? What is it this time? A limited edition gold coin for only 2 payments of $39.95 each that I should buy for every member of my family (limited 10 per caller)? A collection of limited edition stamps that you're gonna tell me I can't live with out? What is it? Please...the suspense is killing me!!! Wait for it....


"Ch ch ch chia! Chia Obama! This is a special edition collectors item!"

ROFLMAO

REALLY???? This is how were commemorating Obama? Like he isn't already a big enough joke?? I was laughing so hard I had to pause my television to snap this photo to remember the moment!




So, I had to check out the stupid website (please feel free to wander over for a laugh www.chiaobama.com). The commercial neglected to tell me that I had two choices of Chia Obama's!!! There's "determined" and "happy"...and you should order both to complete your collection! However, both look so ridiculous....I mean, come on, we all know Obama keeps his hair short and well edged...chia has the man growing a 70's afro! As the website animation makes clear, the only time it truly looks like President Obama is when you first slap those seeds on his head!

I love that the website also advertises that this product is available on "drugstore.com" ...because this is exactly the kinda thing I would probably pick up at a walgreens at 3am after a few too many drinks because it would strike me funny and should in fact be the ONLY time someone should feel the need to waste their money on this kinda crap.

Oh America....no wonder the rest of the world is so proud of you!!