I'm a bad, bad blogger

How the hell do I let myself go so long without blogging?? Bless me father, for I have sinned..... It has been 3 years since my last blog confession! Well, I suppose this can only mean one thing, and that is catch up time. So, lets try a brief synopsis of the last 3 years. From where I left off.... I was about to do vacation. Nothing significant I can recall that needs sharing, but it was fun. Lol I was working at the Cosmetology school.... That was true up until last June when the school closed. I was one year into marriage....now it's 4 years. :) People were bugging us about when we were gonna have a baby.... Well, let me tell you a story about that. So, it's Mother's Day, 2011. I did my usual calls and texts to all the moms in my life. And to wit, I revive SEVERAL responses saying "when do we get to say Happy Mothers Day to you??" I, of course, replied "stop trying to jinx me." Lol I really think at that point, I was pretty much ready to be a selfish non-parent. Within a few days, Rick and I talked and we both kind of agreed....Maybe we just shouldn't have kids. I mean, we were both 30 something's now and didn't like the idea of what we would have to give up to be real parents. So, we settled it, in the kitchen of our condo.... No babies. Over the next few days, weird things happened. First I went to the dentist for a filling and the dentist couldn't numb me. Very odd. Then, the next day I went tanning and literally got so sick in the tanning bed, I had to get out after a few minutes before I puked everywhere. Then I'm at work late one night and one of my students tells me she's worried she may be pregnant. So, I went to my desk and got out a pregnancy test. I know... Weird thing to have. But I have for YEARS no bought pregnancy tests in bulk online. It's the kind they use in the doctors office and they're only like $0.20 a piece. I started keeping some at the school several months earlier when a co worker's complaints turned out to be big pregnancy flags that she was missing. That was a fun day by the way.... She freaked out and said "this wasn't how I pictured finding this out." My response was "What did you expect, balloons and a parade?" Lol ah...but I digress. So, I give my student a test and I'm talking to the other girls about the weird stuff that's happened.... And then it hits me.... I'm really late. They convinced me to take a test too, and wouldn't you know, the test is positive. I kinda freaked. I thought, there's no way in hell I'm pregnant. We just agreed, no babies! And then I remembered I was on HCG still. So, even though I've read many times it does not give a false positive, I convinced myself it was just that. I called a women's clinic to take a blood test and they confirmed I was pregnant and it was in no way a side effect from taking HCG. But I still didn't believe them. I think I finally believed when I had my first ultrasound. But it was so bizarre. I was so resounded to the fact that I wasn't gonna have a baby that I don't think I ever really got into my pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't against it.... It was just hard to wrap my head around. Lol I was for sure not a person to enjoy pregnancy. People told me I would miss it and they were dead wrong. Lol Although our little man started out with some complications in the beginning, today he is a happy little toddler.... And so my final update is that in the last 3 years, I have become a mom and we are now living in Southern California. And I am determined to get back to writing so that I can keep laughing at life. JAXIN CAIDEN SMITH 1/24/12