Goodbye 2008

New Year's Eve....why do people throw down the big bucks to stand in a crowded bar with over priced drinks and bitchy people?

My fiance, Rick, and I couldn't decide this year what to do to ring in the New Year....but it certainly wasn't going to include $150 cover each! We ended up opting to go to the Horseshoe casino in Indiana. Why? Nothing better to do and we had a free ride...sounds like the making of an adventure! CTA (read: "buses and trains") was free to ride that night and there was a free shuttle to the casino, so we made plans to meet up with another couple and take the "El" to Chinatown and catch the casino shuttle from there....where we would meet up with our friends that were too cool to take the public transportation journey with us....stupids!

So, let me say.....I've been warned in the past to never go to Chinatown after dark with out a proper escort.....meaning someone who lives in the area....meaning someone of Asian persuasion. Yet, here's 4 white kids (I can still call myself a kid at 30 right?) planning to trek through Chinatown at 10pm.

We de-board the train....and I feel I must comment, out loud, how much Chinatown smells like a delicious Chinese restaurant. Wow....why was I not expecting that? Everyone laughs....and now I'm hearing from my friend's husband that he wants to go eat Chinese food! We just fucking ate dinner! But he tells me there's always room for Chinese. Ha...nice try.

Anywho....the shuttle people told us that the pick up was two blocks from the Red line station. But two blocks in what direction??? Luckily, we find a very nice man pulling out of a parking lot willing to give us directions to the cross streets we are looking for. Unfortunately, he points us towards the main gates into the heart of Chinatown. Eeek. But I am brave....and I can go in there.

So, we start walking...and all the while, I'm wondering how I got put at the back of the group... 'cause I'm waiting for a ninja attack and planning how to counter his stealthy moves. I guess I was distracted with all my ass kicking move planning, and I suddenly realize we've walked a lot more than 2 blocks. Why in the hell has no one else noticed this??? So, I say "We should turn around....it has to be the other direction". We tried to stop a cop and ask him....but I guess it was his dinner break cause he ignored us and sprinted for one of the million Chinese restaurants on this 4 block strip! Ass!

We start heading back....finally get directions from a nice lady on the street (wow...so far no ninjas) and now we're are all cussing out the asshole that sent us the wrong way....like he can hear us in his warm sports car. Oh....did I forget to mention it was hovering around ZERO degrees?? By this point, everyone's sniffling, I'm getting a blister on my heal, and none of us can feel our damn legs! Thank God we stopped in Walgreens earlier and I picked up a pair of $1 gloves that look like the skin of a fucking pink Muppet! Ah...but apparently, Muppet skin is quite warm, 'cause my fingers are the only thing NOT frozen at this point.

We finally find where we're supposed to be (and might I add that it was literally half a block from where we got our first directions!! Ass!!) and while we are waiting for the shuttle....I see him. My first Ninja of the night! But instead of all black, he's opted for a nice dark blue business suit under a standard khaki colored trench coat and matching hood cinched so tight it only left an eye slit. Okay...so maybe he wasn't a ninja....but he kinda looked ninja-esque. Or possibly he's a professional Luchador? Either way....he was scary, the way he kept pacing back and forth and staring through his little slit. I was waiting for the attack from Crouching Tiger....but it never came so I never had to put my moves on him.....lucky him.

The ride to the casino was uneventful....but because we weren't already "members", upon arrival we had to go through security, get carded and sign up for their rewards program so we could get back on the shuttle at the end of the night. Let me interject that I am NOT one of those women who hides her age from people because she's too vain to get old. I AM however one of those women who doesn't feel she's getting older, so my true age doesn't sound correct. I just entered my third decade of life, and it seems HIGHLY impossible that I have been alive that long. So, saying I'm 30 sounds wrong to me....and thankfully I look young for my age (I'm told 24), so I usually pick a number like 27 and stick to it.

The four of us get in line for security, and the guard waves Rick around...apparently he was the only one looking old enough to enter the premises! HA....do you know how good that makes me feel? Rick is 29 and knowing that he looks 5-10 years older than me gives me great delight! he he We get through all the crap and head for the High Stakes Blackjack room where we are to meet up with everyone else. It's 10:40, and they sat down to play at 10:05. In 35 minutes....the 5 of them had already dropped at least $500 each and were ready to head home. Dumb asses...who the hell plays that kinda money that fast? And then, I don't feel so bad for them 'cause I see an even bigger dumbass dropping $25K per hand! The country's economy is going to shit and you are betting more than what I'm now making in a year on ONE hand of Blackjack. Balls man....you have balls.

We play slots for a few hours, ring in an unenthusiastic New Year with thousands of unknown people trying to strike it rich and are back on the shuttle by 1:30AM. Wow...that was fun. Not.

We got back on the train, and headed 3 stops down for our transfer. All the while, my friend is looking at me eyes wide and was trying to signal to me to look at the guy sitting across from me. I couldn't figure out what the hell she was trying to get me to see. Finally, just before our stop, I think I have it figured out....it has to be his nicely polished and manicured nails (we both work in a salon, so we notice these things about you all). Our stop comes and she bolts for the door. So, I asked "What's the deal? Were you hinting I should look at his nails?" She said "Noo...he was staring at me, licking his lips. I thought he was gonna fucking rape me." LOL Okay....I had to laugh, 'cause I don't think she takes the El very often. It's full of crazies! :) But apparently, we narrowly escaped, un-raped. :)

To make our connection to the Blue line, we have to walk through a tunnel. Lovely....people have been partying it up and I step carefully over a party hat filled with someones vomit and almost trip over a sleeping bum while avoiding the screaming drunks that have now decided to start a chain of "high fives" through the tunnel. Ah...I love the city. :)

Our train arrives, and we hop on a nearly empty car with several people returning from their own night's adventures. In front of me, I see "drunk guy in a suit" with his poor date trying to get him home. Behind me, I have a group of loud Russians (? Well, don't we all assume someone with any Eastern European accent is Russian??). As the rough ride home begins, drunk guy stands up and tries to open the emergency door because he has to puke. Great! I'm not riding 20 something stops in a train that smells like regurgitated Martini's and Champagne! Luckily, his date gets him seated, and after a near puking experience, he lies down and passes out! Yay! He should be fun to wake up in a few stops! Which he was....it was quite entertaining seeing a girl in a mini skirt and high heals who weighs maybe a buck-o-five trying to haul drunk guy up onto his feet and off the train.

Then from behind me in a thick Russian(?) accent, a man screams at the top of his lungs "HOPP--EEE NEWWW YEARRR!! I wake you all up!!" Ok....avoid eye contact....avoid eye contact..... "I SAY.... HOPPP--EEEEEE NEWWW YEARRRRR!" I tried....now, I have to look. He's laughing, and catches my eyes on him and tries to have a conversation with me. "Hoppy New Year.....I like you gloves." I say "Thanks, I got them at Walgreens," and smile....trying to look away. He says "My wife...she tell me 'shut the fuck up'...so if I bug, you tell me shut the fuck up, ok?" I laughed again..... "What you do tonight? I go to party...no fun. You?" I told him we went to the casino...and that it was no fun as well. He asks where we are going to and I say Rosemont. He laughs and again shouts "HOPP---EEEE NEWW YEARRRR!" Then he looks at me and says "Ok....I see I bugging....I shut the fuck up." And we all laugh as we get off the train and head for our cars.

So, that was how I said goodbye to 2008. You never know what you'll get in Chicago....or on the El. :)