What if your penis fell off?

So....I just got home from a weekend downtown with Rick, Michelley Welly and her boyfriend, Michael....it was our birthday gift to Michelle to send her to a dance convention that was going on at the Marriott and we went along as her chaperones. Can I say right now how much I heart Michelley??? Ahh...we love to be stupid together....and it's way too much fun acting HER age again. ha ha Usually with us, it's all "Borat" quotes, retarded dance moves, gang signs and deep conversation. HA...check out this deep conversation we had while lying in our hotel room last night as the boys fetched dinner.

Let me preface the rest of this by saying that with us, one stupid comment tends to lead to random thoughts and a cavalcade of more stupid comments. he he As I said, we were there for a dance convention, and on the door of the room next to ours, there was a big poster decorated with confetti and shit that said something like "Go Tiffani!" Weird...so, every time Rick walked in or out of the room, he would scream "Yah....GO Tiffani!!!" So, Michelle and I were talking about how funny it would be to leave a note on Tiffani's door that said, "We love you Tiffani, signed room 2316." (I know...we're like 12 or something, right? ha ha) And then I said it would be too funny if Tiffani only saw Rick walking in and out of our room, 'cause then she'd be creeped out since I'm sure Tiffani was, judging from her sign, under 16. ha ha Then Michelle says,

"Then it should say 'Tiffani, you rock my socks off!!'...or 'Tiffani, you rock my cock off!' "

....and she proceeds into a fit of giggles, which I joined in on.

Now...she's laughing so hard she can barely speak, and she's forgotten Tiffani and moved onto the image she just gave herself.

"Oh my god...wouldn't it be hilarious if penis' fell off???!!"

More giggles....

"Like really...you're having a conversation with a guy and all of the sudden you notice he drops something from his shorts and you're like 'Oh, you dropped something, let me get it for you' and then you grab it and it's his penis!!"

Ok....we're in hysterics now because she thinks this image is so damn funny, and I'm laughing because not only is it funny to me, but now I have to tell her a story about this....a true story a co worker shared with me about penis' coming off.

So, in between laughter, I say,

"Wait....I have to tell you a story about this! I work with a girl whose mom told her that if you have sex too early, a boys penis falls off!"

More giggles....

"Seriously...I was like 'What, did she tell you that we were like human guillotines or something?' and she said no, that her mom had just told her they would fall off...like a lizard tail or something."

I think Michelle is weeping with laughter now.

"AND....her mom had proof to back it up. Apparently she had an uncle with a couple of kids in there 20's and then a son that was like 5. So, she explained to her that her uncle had sex to her early and his penis fell off, and so he had to wait for it to grow back before he could have his little boy...thus the age gap. So, until she was a teenager, she thought penis' really fell off!"

I think Michelle just wet the bed.

So, the rest of the weekend, the boys had to endure our comments about them making sure they didn't lose their penis'. HA HA...we're retarded....we're well aware.