Why Ricardo was banned from the master bath (or, why I take my cell phone EVERYWHERE!)

In my house, we have two bathrooms. For whatever reason, I'm the main person that uses the master bath, which means I know when things like toilet paper need to be replenished in there, and do so. Rick, on the other hand, thinks the acceptable bathroom etiquette is to use the last bit of toilet paper, leaving the empty roll on the counter, and make you yell for a new roll once you're stuck on the toilet.... Because you never notice the problem till its too late. So this afternoon, I go into MY bathroom (followed by my son who cant EVER let me pee alone for fear I fall in or something) to use the facilities and find NO FRIGGING TOILET PAPER! Motherf-----! I already knew Rick had been in there cause the bathroom door was open and he has YET to get the concept that closing doors keeps the baby out of the damn toilet! Ok, so I look right at my son and say "I'm going to murder your father" to which he replies "yay baby!" and then climbs into the bathtub to eat his cookie and watch the drama unfold. So I start yelling for Rick and the baby is more than happy to join in by screaming "Daaaaaaaa" at the top of his lungs, followed by a bite of cookie and an "Mmmmmmmmm". So this goes on, because if I haven't mentioned before, Rick is deaf. Not like sign language deaf but like he has holes in his ear drums and could probably benefit from hearing aids 'cause his deafness pisses me the F off deaf.

"Riiiiiiiick!!!!!"

"Daaaaaaaa" chomp on cookie.... "Mmmmmmm"

Oh and the "mmmmmmm" goes up and down in pitch. Like remember the scene in "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" when Turbo and Ozone go to Kelly's parent's house for dinner and Turbo tries the soup and Kelly's dad asks him what he thinks of it..... And Turbo, with a mouth full, starts trying to express how great it is with a series of crazy noises??? Well, if you don't, then you're lame cause that's one of the greatest cinematic accomplishments of the mid 80's!!! Anyway.....I finally had to give up on screaming and call Rick to bring me some damn toilet paper and when he showed up with a roll, I promptly banned him from ever using the master bath again.